After the summer drive in Europe

As I walked along the highway somewhere in France  I turned to have one last look at my Volkswagon that I walked away from. I could barely see it now so I waved goodbye and turned around and kept walking. Thinking to my self here I am in Europe, no money, no food, no vehicle, with only the clothes on my back and a thin blanket. My survival mode started to kick in and I thought I would be ok eating fruits and vegetables from people's gardens, and If I came across an unlocked vehicle I could take anything of use to me.  I was also thinking about hiding from any police vehicles I saw. Survival was not my biggest concern, finding a way to get back home to the U.S.A was.

I walked all day and into the night and didn't see any cars or trucks. I was getting so tired so I walked over to the ditch beside the roadway it was covered with grass so I laid down and went to sleep. I had covered up with a small blanket that a group of kids had given to me earlier, I must have covered my head and did not feel the lite rain that fell but when I woke up my whole side was damp and I was laying in some water. The weather was warm and with the sun up I dried off pretty fast. and on down the road, I went. I must have been pretty close to the ocean because a mile or so I came around a bend and saw some thick bushes and heard voices behind them. There was an opening between them and I walked up and started to go through then I saw people with no clothes on. I looked a little closer and saw the ocean an a nudist camp on the beach. I was so shocked that I turned around and kept walking, I was thinking if they saw me I could get hurt for spying on them.

The road followed the beach line and as I walked I noticed a lot of the girls were topless, it made me think this must be the French Rivera beach and I kept walking. I could see a lot farther down the beach a tower was standing. When I got closer to it my curiosity got the best of me so I walked over to investigate. It was starting to get dark and no one was around so I walked up closer and saw there was an opening in the back. The tower was round and made of concrete and blocks about 20' high. I walked inside and saw old pieces of steel and wood junk laying around and a metal ladder going up to the top. I climbed up and through the top portion and looked out into the ocean and beach. There was a waist-high wall around to keep me from falling off. I thought this was a perfect place to spend the night and I laid down and fell asleep. I heard voices in the morning below in the tower it sounded like there were two men checking things out. I laid there very quiet until I heard them leave and as I peeked over the wall I saw they were guards walking the beach. I climbed down and ran up to the road and walked away.

Down the road aways I stopped at a coffee shop on the roadside, I had found a few coins along the way and asked if I could have a coffee. It was the blackest and thickest coffee I have ever had, but it was what I needed and I took my time sipping it.  On another day going into the late afternoon I was close to a farmer's field with potatoes growing so I was pulling up a plant to get some potatoes when I heard a shotgun go off and a man shouting. I crouched down and started crawling on my knees and elbows as fast as I could out of his field and then ran till I was out of his sight. Whenever I saw a garden or a fruit tree I would help my self and not think about whether they cared or not. It was the only food I was able to get at the time. One day I came to a plum tree and they were ripe so I filled my stomach and carried as many as I could walking away down the road. About an hour later I had a really bad stomach ache and had to go to the bathroom bad. There were no houses or trees around just open fields and the road so I squatted and let it all come out. Plums on an empty stomach are not good. I found that in a lot of the smaller towns wagon trucks with canvas covers would carry beverages and produce down the roads and they traveled very slow so it was easy to keep pace with them as they went. A couple of times I was so thursty I picked a bottle from their wagon without them seeing it.

Hitchhiking was fairly easy during that time and I was able to catch a lot of rides to so many places that I can't remember and language was not a barrier we would just smile and use sign language and point to road signs. One man picked me up and spoke enough English to say he was going to Spain and I said that's where I wanted to go to. He drove a Citron car which is similar to a sports Cadillac and he had to drive through some rocky cliffs with deep drop-offs and lots of curves. That was the fastest and scariest ride I have ever had. He stopped short of the Spanish border and had me get out he said I had to walk across he didn't want to get stopped because of a stranger that he just picked up on the road. I passed through and caught another ride that took me to Barcelona. Looking for places to find some work I saw a coca-cola plant so I stopped and asked inside if I could get a job and was turned down because I needed work permit papers. They gave me two bottles of coke and wished me luck.

I walked most of the way out of Spain and caught rides into Italy, then through Germany and back into France. So many places I wish I would have journaled them. In one small town outside of Paris, I found a car unlocked and  I was going through the glove compartment when people came out of a building and was walking towards the car so I crouched down hoping they would walk by. As they opened the door I jumped out the other side and ran as fast as I could with a backpack full of stuff. I made it to Paris and didn't want to be seen with the backpack so I hid it behind some bushes and went site seeing. When I got back the backpack was gone someone else had stolen it from me.

I was in my fifth or sixth week of traveling aimlessly around Europe and trying to find work and getting nowhere. I was tired, hungry, dirty and I hadn't had a bath or shaved since I left. Walking along thinking I might be better off to go back to Wiesbaden and my wife and ask if we could start over again. So I decided to make my way back to Gustavsburg where her mom lived. I kept walking and when cars would stop I would say Frankfort Dauschland and most people knew which way that was so I gradually made my way back to her small town. 

  I stopped and had a moment of fear go through me before I went up to her mom's house. I rang the doorbell and Heidi my wife answered. She had a surprised look on her face as she said my name Buzz where have you been? I told her my story and asked her if she would go with me to America and start over. She asked me to come in and get cleaned up and talk about it. The bathwater was so dirty that I had to empty it and take another one to get clean. We came to an agreement and made plans to move to America. 

Earl Baldwin

Every morning walk

Every morning I wake up and have my devotions and coffee then go on my morning walk. I have been doing the same routine for three years and haven't missed more than fifteen days. Part of my route goes through our residential area and about a half-mile goes along a trail beside an irrigation ditch.
When I first started this routine I never smiled or talked to a sole for a couple of months. I was pretty much wrapped up in my own troubles and wasn't thinking of anyone else. I would pass at least five to ten people each morning and they acted the same as I was, not caring about anything but themselves at least that's what it seemed like to me.

I was reading a book at that time called "Attitude Is Everything" and it was talking about how important a smile and a simple greeting is and how it can affect a person. At the same time, I was noticing posts on social media to smile and make someone happy today. So I started smiling and saying good morning to those I passed. At first, I would get a quick smile and then after a couple of times, they would say good morning back to me with a smile. I had never realized how good that would make me feel until I started doing it and I am sure it helped brighten their day too.

Several mornings I would walk by this one house and see this old man sitting alone and soaking up the sun and sometimes he would be asleep. One of the mornings he was bent over and almost falling out of his seat so I walked up to him and said good morning I thought you were about to fall out of your chair. He looked up at me and said I must have dozed off for a while. Normally I would have walked right on by but I had a feeling that I should go and say hi to him. He told me he likes watching people walk by but nobody says hi or stops to talk anymore. I learned he was 95 years old and walks around the park every day when it is warm outside. We struck up a friendship and every day when I see him outside I stop and visit for a few minutes.

I used to use my walking time in the mornings for a quiet time and start my day talking to God about my problems and stressors which I still do but it's not just about me anymore. I am learning that when I think of others and I can give a little kindness, caring and some form of love I get a feeling of accomplishment and my troubles aren't as pressing as they were before. Just a little change in my attitude and a smile has been a good thing for me.
Earl Baldwin

God never left me.

Accepting Jesus as my savior at the age of fourteen and committing the rest of my life to him I was pretty sure he would keep me safe and never leave me. I also had many of the church prayer warriors take me aside several times during my teen years and pray for angels to guard and protect me my whole life. All through my school years and late teens, I followed the straight and narrow path of the bible teachers. Two years after graduation I turned twenty and joined the Army. That took me away from the secure environment of the church and other Christians. I experienced a new kind of life surrounded by all of the worldly things that I had tried to avoid and I started to give in to the temptations of the devil.

For the next twenty years, I lost contact with God and tried doing things the way I wanted to do them. I became resentful of the church people who denied me a lot of the things most teenagers do. I banned them from coming to my home and became angry at my mom and would use very vulgar language. Beer, cigarettes, and cussing became a part of my everyday life. I would run away from conflict when things didn't go my way. Dirty magazines and videos would help me deal with stress. Satin was working his magic on me and was leading me down a path of destruction. No matter how hard I tried to be a good man and do the right thing it usually ended up causing me or someone else a lot of pain or grief. It seemed like negativity had surrounded me and I could not see a way past it. My marriage ended in a divorce and I decided to move to Montana and live like a hermit with my two sons.
I was not aware of it at the time but Gods angles had been by my side protecting me all those twenty years. He had allowed me to exercise my free will and do it my way until out of desperation  I asked for help. God answers when we seek his help. My boss coaxed me into going to church with his family, they wanted me to meet a nice divorced lady in the church that they knew. In the service, we sat on the front row and I felt like the pastor was talking directly to me. He had a prayer time at the end of the message and I prayed and asked God to forgive my sins and give me a clean heart and help me to live a better life. I did not meet Cathy at that time but a meeting was arranged to see her at the restaurant where she worked.
We met and I liked her right away. She had two young daughters and I had two sons. We dated for about six months and then got married. It was a blended family but I knew with Gods help we would make it work. I was so happy that I had a partner to love and a new family to take care of. I was promoted to manager of a retail store and got transferred rite after we were married about 350 miles away from her parents. I found a new church and began to settle into a new and peaceful life.

Taking the family to church each week and developing new Christian friends I felt like I was growing in my spiritual life. God had certainly changed me and took away a lot of my bad habits. I found that when Satin loses his grip on a person he fights that much harder to get you back into your old ways. This new life of mine was turning out to be a little more difficult than I anticipated.  I was having financial problems with my new job and then family issues with the kids were creating a lot of stress. That's when satin would whisper in my ear go ahead and get mad just don't get violent or go ahead and tell a lie so you don't hurt the other person. He gets so sneaky sometimes that I don't even realize I committed another sin.
One time in our small group meeting at the church. The leader had a class on always be thankful to God for every blessing and every hurtful thing that we have suffered. The blessing is a show of his love for us and demonstrates how much he cares, and the hurt he will heal and use as a tool to help someone else. The leader reminded us to be thankful every day for everything good and bad, This has stuck with me and has become a habit I practice each day.
Over the last 36 years of my second marriage, I have battled with satin daily, but I have kept the faith and stayed strong. I memorized a couple of sayings that have a calming factor for me when I get frustrated,
 It's your plan God, not mine.
Anger flows from unmet expectations.
I feel I have had a rough life with tremendous stress, but the fact is that God has always been right beside me watching over my life.
Earl Baldwin